(I hear your gasp of horror already. I know, I know: How many sob stories have begun with that phrase? Some day children will try to scare each other with stories set in large consumer electronic chain stores. ‘The call is coming from INSIDE THE COMP USA!’)
According to the August 15, 1999 Sunday paper, they had computer memory on sale, cheap cheap cheap. Their price was low to begin with, and the $30 mail-in rebate made it a great deal. I’d been meaning to add more memory to my computer for a while, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity.
Granted, I had to go by Best Buy on a Sunday. See, our local Best Buy is in a shopping center along with a Wal-Mart, a Barnes Noble, and any other number of shrines to consumerism. This wouldn’t be so bad if the shopping center in question weren’t in its own cul-de-sac, with only one road feeding it from the main highway nearby. Getting into the shopping center isn’t hard. It’s getting out that will try your patience, especially on a weekend.
But for those memory prices, I’d gladly brave the horrors of traffic and the throngs of people whose job, near as I can tell, is to wander around Best Buy staring slack-jawed at the miracles of modern electronics and in general getting in people’s way.
I made it to the Best Buy just fine. I made my way through the crowd of people milling about the store, finally arriving at the computer department.
No one was at the desk. The memory was kept in locked glass cabinets; without an employee, there was no way to get the memory.
There was one person in front of me at the counter. I waited for about ten minutes, watching other people wander around the computer department and listening to one of the sales staff explain the wonders of Compaq laptops to a customer. Finally, I asked the guy in front of me how long he’d been waiting for help. Oh, about forty minutes, he told me.
Hold my spot, I told him, then went in search of help. Both of the employees I could see were busy with customers. I decided to bother the guy hawking Compaqs. Say, we’ve been waiting a while, I said, pointing to the man at the counter who by this point was slumped against it as if all the life was being drained from his body. Can you get someone to help us?
Oh, you need Frank. He’s got the key.
Where’s Frank?
I dunno. He went on break a little while ago. He should be back soon.
Soon in this case meant fifteen minutes. I spent the time chatting with the guy in front of me in line. I never come here if I can help it, he said. But their prices on some stuff are so good, I end up breaking my vow never to come here again.
Frank eventually showed up. We’re both after some of that 64Mb of memory that’s on sale, my new-found friend told Frank.
Frank glanced towards the cabinet. Oh, we’ve sold out of that.
I took another look at the cabinet. There were packages of memory in the slot labelled 64Mb memory. What’s that? I asked, pointing.
Frank took a closer look at the cabinet. That’s just some 32Mb memory. We ran out of room for it in its usual spot.
Oh, lovely. When do you expect to get some more memory in?
Trucks come on Tuesday morning. Check back with us then.
I made my way back out of the store, pushing my way past an insanely long line at the customer service desk. I’d have to wait, or try some of the other Best Buy stores in the region.
On Monday, I asked Misty to stop by the Best Buy in Raleigh on her way home from work. At the time she worked on the far side of Raleigh, so could swing by on her way back from work and pick some up.
They didn’t have any, she was told, but should be restocked on Tuesday morning. We decided to call before bothering with another trip to either store.
Misty and I spent the next few days trying to get a call through to the Best Buy in either Raleigh or Durham. The procedure went something like this:
Dial the number for the computer department.
Listen to it ring for a while.
Eventually hang up. Try the number for the customer service department instead.
Listen to the phone ring.
If you’re lucky, someone finally answers. Tell the person, I’m trying to find out if you have any of the 64Mb of memory that was advertised in your Sunday circular.
The person who answered the phone will say something like, Mrbl fll mmtm. Do not be alarmed; this is normal.
Wait on hold while Mumble Man goes to get an employee from the computer department on the phone, or to check the stock himself.
After a while, either the phone will spontaneously hang up on you, or another Mumble Man will pick up the phone. If the latter occurs, go back three steps.
Misty eventually short-circuited this process by asking for a customer service manager. The manager was able to tell her that, yes, they had some of the memory. After work she stopped by to buy two packages of memory.
It took her over an hour to get someone to wait on her and get her the memory.
But never mind that, I had my memory! I popped the memory in the computer, filled out my rebate forms, and sent them in the mail to PNY Technologies, Inc. When I first went to Best Buy on Sunday I had grabbed a number of the necessary rebate forms, and I decided to keep one of the extras, since it had contact information in the unlikely case that my rebates didn’t arrive.
September passed, then October. The form had said to wait eight weeks from the closing date of the offer, September 4th, before bugging them about the rebate. By November 10th, I had tired of waiting. I called the 1-888 number listed on the card.
It was busy.
Okay, no problem, I thought. I’ll just send e-mail to the address on the card.
The e-mail I sent came back. No such account at Prodigy.
I kept trying to call that 1-888 number. I called early in the day. I called late in the afternoon. I would walk past the phone in my office, then spring towards it and punch in the number quickly, in the hopes of surprising PNY. The line was always busy.
After a week of this, I did a little research and got the number for PNY corporate headquarters. (It’s 973-515-9700, should this ever happen to you.) Before calling that number, I decided to try the 1-888 number once again.
Lo and behold, it rang. To my amazement, someone picked up the phone. To my further amazement, she was helpful. I explained that I hadn’t received my rebate for the two packages of memory I’d bought. She tapped away on her computer for a few minutes, then told me that PNY had sent the checks, but that the post office had returned them. She asked me for my address. I gave it to her.
Huh, she said. That’s the same address as we have in our computers. Well, don’t worry. We’ll get your rebate to you. It’ll take about four weeks.
It didn’t even take that long. On Monday, December 6th, the check arrived. I tore it open.
The check was for $30. It only covered half of the rebate I was due.
Again I tried calling the 1-888 number. Again it was busy. This time I decided not to fool around. I called corporate headquarters and asked to speak to someone about my rebate.
They sent me to extension 2002, where I spoke to a man named Gerald. He took my information and promised to pass it on to the person who takes care of this. He also assured me that, since it was so close to Christmas, the rebate center was swamped, and that my second check was probably delayed. Give it another few weeks, he asked.
I gave it another few weeks, by which time it was Christmas, and then New Year’s. The check hadn’t arrived by the 6th, and the whole world hadn’t descended into chaos because of the Y2K bug, so it was time to call PNY Technologies, Inc. again.
The 1-888 number was (surprise!) busy. I called corporate H.Q. and spoke to Gerald again. You’re the third person who’s called about this this week. Somehow, I wasn’t surprised. Give it one more week.
I gave it two, then called back on January 19th. This time I reached an answering machine. I left a message and my number, as if I thought that they might actually call me back.
Rather than wait for them to call me, I tried again on the 20th. I got the machine again, so I left another, less civil message.
I decided to try again on the 21st. Hey, if nothing else I could start coming up with creative messages to leave on the machine. I was surprised when I got a live person on the phone, a man named Victor. I told him my story, including the part about the missing e-mail address, the busy 1-888 number, and Gerald’s help. He gave me a toll-free number to call in case I ever had to call back, and said, Give me about five minutes to look up your account. I’ll call you back.
That was at 3:25. At 3:32 he was back on the phone. I couldn’t find your account. Did you personally buy the memory, or did someone else? I told him that Misty had bought the memory. He said, Let me check again. I’ll get right back to you.
Amazingly enough, he was true to his word. He was back on the phone at 3:39. One check was sent out previously, and I’ve authorized you for the second one. It should arrive in three weeks.
I was skeptical, but Victor turned out to be correct. On the 8th of February, 2000, my second check arrived. It came in one of those perforated tear-open paper envelopes, and on the inside was a special message to me from PNY Technologies, Inc. and the TCA Rebate Center:
STOP!
Don’t Cash this Check
(Trade it in for a Greater Value)
SPECIAL OFFER
Send your rebate check back to us (to the address on the check), and we will send you The Millennium PassTM, a Y2K solution to keep your computer running properly after January 1, 2000 (A $59.99 value!)
When the new year arrives, many computers (even newer ones) will not be able to recognize the difference between dates in the years 1900 and 2000. This problem could cause your computer to behave erratically and even lose data!
The Millennium PassTM installs in minutes in your computer, and will fix the Y2K bug instantly.
Unlike software solutions, it will not disappear if you re-load system software, and is not subject to virus attacks. It also uses less system resources, since it is an 8-bit add-on card (hardware), and unlike software, it does not use memory or disk space to operate. It becomes a permanent part of your computer, taking over the date/time function of your system.
To get the Millennium PassTM (a $59.99 value), simply return this check (send the entire page-do not endorse check).
We will ship your Y2K Protection right back to you.
I decided not to take them up on this generous offer.
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Teresa
